We’re bombarded with advice on how to fix our relationships from almost every angle — from family, friends, and media. But how much of that advice is really good advice? Dr. Katrina Kuzyszyn-Jones returns to the show to share some pieces of marriage advice she’s heard that can do a lot more harm than good.

Katrina holds a Masters degree in Forensic Psychology, a Doctorate in Clinical Psychology, and has been practicing for over 10 years. Katrina practices with Lepage Associates in Durham, NC and can be reached at 919.572.0000, or by visiting LepageAssociates.com.

Has your sex life with your spouse cooled down since you got married?  Are you not getting the same satisfaction that you used to, and do you feel like there’s nothing you can do about it?

Dr. Trina Read joins us to talk about her book, Till Sex Do Us Part: Making Your Married Sex Irresistible, which focuses on the transition couples go through from single sex to married sex, and tells you what you can do to keep things satisfying after you’ve tied the knot.

Trina is a sexologist with a successful coaching practice who’s written for a variety of publications in addition to writing her own books.  She’s given interviews and lectures both in North America and overseas. You can go to her website, TrinaRead.com, to learn more and to find plenty of resources, and to TillSexDoUsPart.com to order her book for yourself.

It’s easy to get caught up in the negative things in our lives, but are you letting the same happen in your relationship? Are you no longer able to see the good things in your marriage?

Drs. Charley and Liz Schmitz join us to discuss how to break out of the cycle of negativity and put the positivity back in your marriage, beginning with five simple things you should say to your spouse every day.

Charley and Liz are marriage experts with three decades of research and a 43-year marriage of their own. You can purchase their latest book, Building a Love That Lasts, through Amazon.com, and you can visit their website at SimpleThingsMatter.com, where you can find their blog along with a variety of relationship resources.

Do you feel like you can’t live up to what your spouse expects from you in the bedroom? Or do you feel you’re not getting everything you think you should get from your spouse?

Dr. Sara Rosenquist joins us to discuss how our culture’s emphasis on sex can give us unrealistic expectations and put a strain on relationships, and gives advice on how couples can find satisfaction with each other – even if they aren’t in a hyper-sexual Hollywood romance.

Sara is a clinical psychologist with a private practice in Chapel Hill and Cary, NC, where she focuses on reproductive issues and sex therapy. You can find out more by visiting her website, DrSara.com, where she has some great articles and free resources available.

Is your marriage not all you expected it to be? Are you not sure if there’s something wrong, or if this is just the natural progression of a relationship?

Harry Harrison, author of 1001 Things Happy Couples Know About Marriage, joins us to share some of the lessons he’s compiled from talking to successful long-term couples, covering everything from money to intimacy to forgiveness.

Harry is the bestselling author of the Raising Parents book series, ten books on parenting and family life. You can order a copy of 1001 Things… at Amazon.com and be sure to check out his books on his website, RaisingParents.com.

A child who’s having difficulties in school can create a lot of unexpected stress in a relationship. Do you and your spouse have different ideas of what’s best when it comes to your child’s education? How can you communicate with each other and with your child to understand what’s happening at school, and what you can do?

Dr. Jaclyn Starritt joins us to talk about how important it is to advocate for your child and how parents can effectively deal with their child’s problems in school through cooperation.

Jaclyn earned her PhD. in the field of School Psychology, and is married with three children of her own. She’s now putting her experience to work as a new member of Wynns Family Psychology in Cary, NC. You can find out more about her services by visiting KristenWynns.com or calling her office at (919) 805-0182 to set up an appointment.

When kids start acting out, the strain on the marriage is immediate. Are the different approaches that you and your spouse take toward discipline and the examples you set making the problem worse?

Tina Lepage joins us  to discuss the three reasons why almost all children act out, as well as common mistakes couples make and what steps you can take today to better communicate with your kids and each other in order to raise better behaved children in a loving environment.

Tina is the founder of Lepage Associates, where she focuses on personal and professional relationship issues, as well as children and family therapy, and personal growth. You can find out more about Tina and her staff by visiting her website at LepageAssociates.com, or by calling her office at 919.572.0000.

When things get difficult, it’s easy to start questioning whether it’s really worth it to stay in your marriage.  Does it seem like you aren’t communicating anymore? How can you resolve your conflicts when it feels like nothing is working?

John Wilder joins us to take a look at what you can do when you’re considering giving up on your marriage, and shows us how we may able to repair our conflict solving skills.

John is a marriage coach in New Castle, Indiana, with over thirty years of counseling experience. You can get in touch with John and learn more about his coaching services by emailing him at marriagecoach1@yahoo.com.

Have you considered traditional marriage counseling, but found yourself curious about other possible options? Marriage workshops are a growing alternative to traditional counseling with a more classroom-like approach, and have been increasing in popularity both with married couples and with engaged couples who want to plan for the future.

Natasha Crawford, founder of a new marriage workshop of her own called the Marriage Academy, joins us today to tell us more about this growing trend and what to expect from it to help you decide if a workshop might be the right choice for you.

Natasha is a licensed North Carolina Marriage and Family Therapist Associate and certified Prepare-Enrich premarital counselor with a private practice in Raleigh. You can find out more about Natasha at her website, NatashaCrawford.com, by following her on Twitter @NatashaCrawford, by calling her office at 919.807.1156, or by visiting her blog at NatashaCrawford.blogspot.com

With Mother’s Day just around the corner, we’re all reminded just how important it is to show appreciation for the mothers in our lives. But sometimes we can forget that it’s just as important to show appreciation and support for your wife’s role as a mother throughout the rest of the year. What are some of the issues mothers deal with on a daily basis that sometimes go unnoticed, and what can husbands do to show their appreciation?

Dr. Kristen Wynns returns to discuss common complaints from mothers who feel unappreciated and what you can do to support your wife and show her how much you value what she does for your family.

Dr. Wynns has a private practice in Cary, NC and specializes in therapy for children, adolescents, and families. You can find out more about Dr. Wynns practice and services at her website, WynnsFamilyPsychology.com, or by calling her office at 919.805.0182. Kristen also has a blog called Marriage and Parenting 101 with great advice for parents.

Having a great marriage is tough work. In second marriages, factors like ex-spouses, step children, and fears and insecurities from the last marriage make things even more difficult. Are you afraid your current marriage will end up like your last one?

Tim Lewis joins us to discuss the unique pitfalls of remarriages and what steps you can take today to make sure that this marriage makes it, whether it’s your first or fifth.

Tim is a Marriage Coach and a certified Prepare-Enrich Seminar Director & Counselor with a private practice in Huntersville, NC. Tim and his wife Christina operate The Redesign Company, which combines marriage coaching and home design. You can find out more about Tim and The Redesign Company on their website, LoveComingHome.com, by visiting their Facebook page, or by calling 704.604.2687.

It’s no secret that for most problems, men like clear-cut instructions – and relationships are no different. Dennis Yanke joins us to discuss his book, Love Your Wife… Get Better Sex, and talk about his manual for not just improving your sex life, but deepening the intimacy and emotional connection as well.

Dennis is a veteran financial planner with three decades of experiences helping couples manage their finances. You can find out more about Dennis and the  book at LoveYourWifeGetBetterSex.com, where you can read an entire chapter of the book for free, as well as ask Dennis questions that he answers on the site.

We’re excited to be giving away two copies of Love Your Wife… Get Better Sex. Listen to the show, leave us a comment at StayHappilyMarried.com, and on Friday (4/30/10), we’ll pick two commenters to receive copies of the book!

Adultery leaves many spouses thinking that there will never be any trust in the relationship and that divorce is the inevitable conclusion. How likely is it that your marriage will survive infidelity, and is it possible to rebuild trust and respect?

Mary Jo Rapini joins us to explore the different reasons men and women cheat, the likelihood that a marriage will survive cheating, and a checklist that you can put into place today to repair your marriage if infidelity has damaged the relationship.

Mary Jo is a Licensed Professional Counselor with a private practice in Houston, TX. She also writes a syndicated newspaper column, hosts a television show in Houston, and has appeared on CNN, Headline News, and TLC. You can find out more about Mary Jo at her website, MaryJoRapini.com, where you can get information on her services, books, and videos, as well as read her blog for couples.

The biggest hurdle to fixing a relationship plagued by conflict is acknowledging the problem, but how do you resolve the underlying disputes without falling into old habits and fighting even more? Will strategies designed for both spouses be effective when only one spouse is willing to work toward solving the problem?

Paul Shaffer returns to the show to share five tools you can start using today to disarm hostile and repetitive conflicts.

Paul has been a professional counselor for almost 25 years and currently owns his own practice, Right Choices Counseling, in Huntersville, NC. You can find out more about Paul and his practice at RightChoicescounseling.com, or by calling 704.578.2725. You can also purchase Paul’s books, Conflict Resolution for Couples, and Conflict Resolution for Christian Couples from Amazon.com, or by visiting the publisher directly, at AuthorHouse.com

Have late nights and early mornings at the office become the norm? Has your marriage lost it’s spark because your spouse seems to care more about work than the relationship?

Natasha Crawford joins us to explore the difference between hard work and neglecting your marriage, as well as examining the factors that make spouses likely to become “workaholics”, how to prevent it from happening, and what to do if you or your partner is already there.

Natasha is a licensed North Carolina Marriage and Family Therapist Associate and certified Prepare-Enrich premarital counselor with a private practice in Raleigh. You can find out more about Natasha at her website, NatashaCrawford.com, by following her on Twitter @NatashaCrawford, by calling her office at 919.807.1156, or by visiting her blog at NatashaCrawford.blogspot.com

Are you tired of the dirty clothes never making their way to the washer? The nagging? Being embarrassed in public? Or just plain old nose picking? Is there a way to get your spouse to drop the bad habits without reading the riot act? Jennifer Coleman returns to the show do discuss why it’s sometimes more difficult to bring up problems to a spouse than a friend, and how you can approach your partner about his or her annoying habits in a way that doesn’t put anyone on the offensive, and will make headway in fixing the problem.

Jennifer is a licensed professional counselor and is a nationally certified counselor who practices with Eastover Psychological and Psychiatric Group in Cornelius, NC, where she works with couples, families and  individuals from young children to adults on issues ranging from depression, anxiety, relationship issues and life transitions. Jennifer is also a Life Transitions Coach with Rosen Law Firm, where she helps clients set goals and priorities to help manage their lives. You can find out more about Jennifer and her practice at EPPG.org

Have your expectations of what a “perfect” marriage should be left you to wonder whether the problems in your relationship will keep you from living “happily ever after” with your spouse? Dr. Katrina Kuzyszyn-Jones returns to the show to examine what makes successful marriages last and what couples who have been married for two months or two decades can do to put their relationships on the right track.

Katrina holds a Masters degree in Forensic Psychology, a Doctorate in Clinical Psychology, and has been practicing for over 10 years. Katrina practices with Lepage Associates in Durham, NC and can be reached at 919.572.0000, or by visiting LepageAssociates.com

Are you in a last-minute panic about which flowers to buy, where to make dinner reservations, and whether or not you bought this same card for your wife last year? Are you trying to figure out how to top the Valentine’s Day gift you bought last February? Dr. Michael Hall returns to the show to share four sure-fire steps for husbands trying to make a good impression as well as discussing how to move away from focusing on the ever bigger box of candy or flower arrangement and instead paying attention to the individual needs and emotions of your wife.

Michael owns a private practice with his wife Barbara in Charlotte, NC where he not only works with individuals and couples for relationship and marriage counseling, he is a well known figure in the corporate and career counseling world as well. You can give Michael a call at 704.858.2984 to find out more.

Has the inability to conceive created problems for your personal health, relationship with your spouse, or the priorities in your marriage? Harboring guilt or resentment quickly leads to a breakdown in communication that puts your marriage in serious jeopardy. Dr. Christina Rush joins us to discuss the emotional and psychological impact of infertility on both the spouses individually and the couple as a whole, and how to approach the goal of having children and the treatments that go along with them in a way that doesn’t overshadow the needs of the marriage.

Christina is in private practice with Wynns Family Psychology in Cary, NC, where she helps get couples get through some marriage’s toughest issues, from sexual trauma to eating disorders and depression. In addition to having clinical experience helping other couples with infertility issues, she has first-hand experience dealing with them in her own life. You can find out more about Dr. Rush by visiting the Wynns Family Psychology website, or by calling her office at 919.805.0182

Do seemingly insignificant problems cause outbursts from you or your spouse? Are even the simplest problems impossible to resolve because of flaring tempers? Dr. Julia Messer joins us to discuss what differentiates normal, healthy anger from a chronic problem that impacts not just your marriage, but all your relationships, as well as some of the common root causes for anger issues and how to begin repairing a relationship at risk from unhealthy anger.

Dr. Messer is a licensed psychologist practicing with Orenstein Solutions in Cary, NC, where she specializes in anger management, depression, and family issues. You can find out more about Dr. Messer at OrensteinSolutions.com, or by calling her office at 919.428.2766.

After the excitement of the birth has worn off, infants can place a lot of strain on a relationship. Do you find it hard to devote the time to your spouse and marriage that you used to? Are your children toddlers and now that you have a little more time, you feel like you hardly know your spouse? Dr. Kristen Wynns returns to the show to discuss how you can stay focused on your marriage without neglecting your responsibilities as a new parent.

Dr. Wynns has a private practice in Cary, NC and specializes in therapy for children, adolescents, and families. You can find out more about Dr. Wynns practice and services at her website, WynnsFamilyPsychology.com, or by calling her office at 919.805.0182. Kristen also has a brand new blog called Marriage and Parenting 101 with great advice for parents.

Kristen also suggests the book Babyproofing Your Marriage, as well as John Gottman’s book And Baby Makes Three, and his website, Gottman.com, for more information.

Is it possible that the one hour a week approach to marriage counseling could be doing more harm than good to your relationship? Is the marriage counseling model driven more by the counselors, or by what your insurance will cover?

John Wilder joins us to discuss the difference between the counseling and coaching models of marriage therapy and why the manner in which insurance companies reimburse clients for marriage counseling has created a system that puts your relationship in jeopardy. John is in private practice in New Castle Indiana and has just finished his upcoming book, You Can Achieve Happily Ever After and Improve Your Love Life Too.

Married life can be hectic – are you taking time to cover the nuts and bolts of your relationship on a regular basis? Cory Huff from AGoodHusband.net and HusbandsAndDads.com joins us to talk about a weekly 4 Step Relationship Review that he has implemented in his marriage and the impact it has had on his relationship.

Cory discusses how he came up with the review, how to deal with a spouse who may be hesitant to participate, and important topics to cover, including finances, priorities, and obligations. You can read Cory’s article on the review here, and read his other articles at both AGoodHusband.net and HusbandsAndDads.com

Have you yourself constantly keeping score of the things your spouse has done that upset you? Does it feel like your spouse should know when you feel that something is unfair if he or she really loves you?  Dr. B. Janet Hibbs joins us to discuss why our ideas about fairness often differ from those of our spouse and what steps you can take today to fix issues of fairness and equality in your marriage, as well as sharing advice from her book, Try To See It My Way: Being Fair In Love And Marriage.

Dr. Hibbs has 15 years of graduate teaching and has been in private practice for 25 years. For more information on Dr. Hibbs’ background and practice, visit DrBHibbs.com. You can find out more about Try To See It My Way: Being Fair In Love And Marriage at TryToSeeItMyWay.com, which offers helpful fairness tips and an online fairness quiz, or order a copy at Amazon.com

Is a separation looming on the horizon of your relationship? Ideally, a couple can recognize their problems and get help before divorce is considered an option, but all too often, couples will allow conflict and communication issues to fester until marriage counseling is seen as a last ditch effort on the way to divorce court. Liza Shaw returns to the show to take a look at what puts a couple so close to the edge and what can be done to put the marriage back on the right track.

Liza recommends using resources like MarriageFriendlyTherapists.com and the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy to find a qualified professional to help you and your spouse.

Liza is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Certified Advanced Clinical Hypnotherapist with a private practice in Hickory, NC, where she specializes in couples counseling, family counseling, and grief therapy. You can find out more about Liza and her practice at PowerToThrive.com – or visit PowerToThriveRadio.com for interviews and podcasts. You can also call her office at 828.328.4673

Sometimes, a lack of sex can be due to unresolved issues in the marriage, but often, it’s simply that we’ve become too caught up with daily life to change the status quo. Grab a pen, because Dr. Tina Lepage joins us to share seven (actually eight!) tips you can put to work right now to start having better sex more frequently with your spouse.

Tina is the founder of Lepage Associates, where she focuses on personal and professional relationship issues, as well as children and family therapy, and personal growth. You can find out more about Tina and her staff by visiting her website at LepageAssociates.com, or by calling her office at 919.572.0000

When first dealing with infidelity, the pain and shame can make recovery seem unlikely. Too many people see an affair as a death-sentence for a marriage, but Gary and Mona Shriver are proof that recovery and forgiveness are possible and worth the effort and have created a ministry dedicated to couples whose marriages have been shaken by infidelity.

You can find out a lot more about Gary and Mona Shriver and “Unfaithful, Hope & Healing after Infidelity”, along with information about Hope and Healing ministries at HopeAndHealing.us, which features a wealth of free audio and video resources for couples dealing with infidelity. You can also order a copy of Unfaithful: Hope and Healing After Infidelity at Amazon.com

You may have heard of PAIRS workshops for improving the intimacy in your marriage, but what issues can it address in your marriage, and is it the right environment for you and your spouse? Dr. Susan Orenstein joins us to talk about the PAIRS workshops that have become increasingly popular for both happily and unhappily married couples, and explore what makes PAIRS different from traditional therapy, and why it is such a great option for individuals and couples who are uncomfortable with marriage counseling.

Dr. Orenstein is a licensed Psychologist with a private practice in Cary, NC and a newly opened location in Chapel Hill, NC.  She also conducts the Stay Happily Married seminar series in Raleigh.  You can find out more about Dr. Orenstein at OrensteinSolutions.com, or by calling her office at 919.428.2766. You can find out more about PAIRS at PAIRS.com

Why is it so much more tempting to get rid of your spouse rather than to work on the issues causing problems in your marriage? Sally Watkins joins us to discuss her new book, Change Your Mindset, Not Your Man, and explore how men and women are socialized to have certain expectations of how a marriage will work and why those lead many of us running for the hills at the first sign of conflict, as well as the pitfalls in marriage therapy that can actually make the problems worse.

Sally is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker with a private practice in Folsom California and has been helping couples resolve their issues for more than twenty years. You can find out more about Sally and her practice at her website, HealingWords.net and you can find out more about Change Your Mindset, Not Your Man, including the complete first chapter, at SallyWatkins.net

Whether it’s full-time, or during the evenings, a spouse in school can create a lot of tension in a marriage. It’s not just a couple’s schedules that are impacted, but everything from household chores and time with the kids to intimacy with your spouse. Dr. Nicole Imbraguglio joins us to look at what aspects of the relationship are most likely to suffer when one spouse returns to school and what steps that each partner can take to ensure that the needs of both the couple and the family are met during the process.

Dr. Imbraguglio practices with Lepage Associates in Durham, NC and helps both adults and children with a wide range of emotional issues. She has provided counseling for individuals, groups, couples, and families. You can learn more about Nicole at LepageAssociates.com, or by calling 919.572.0000

Are the unresolved conflicts in your marriage less about an unwillingness to compromise and more about the differences in your families of origin and how you were raised? Is the all too common reaction of assuming that our own approach is right, so our spouse must be wrong making the rift bigger? Marilyn Harding joins us to take a look at what kinds of common arguments are likely caused simply by differences in expectations of how the family should operate and how to manage these differences constructively.

Marilyn Harding has been providing counseling services to the triangle for 20 years and holds specialized training in sex therapy and crisis and trauma therapy, as well as serving on the National Response Team for the American Association of Christian Counselors. You can find out more about Marilyn on the Life Care Counseling and Coaching website at LifeCareCC.com, or by calling 919.851.1527

The demands of a high-level executive or political job can often overrun a marriage, and leave the other spouse with the option of trying to pursue a career of his or her own and risk dividing the marriage, or solely being the stay-at-home parent and feeling unfulfilled, unappreciated, and trapped. Is there any way to avoid these pitfalls and bring both spouses together and stay engaged in a common goal?

Kathi Browne joins us to discuss the concept of being a “wingspouse” and making the career and marriage one of mutual involvement for both spouses. Kathi blogs about successfully investing in your spouse’s career on her blog at Wingspouse.com and also offers seminars that examine the best practices of being a wingspouse.

Social networks like Facebook and MySpace can be a great way to get in touch with friends and classmates from your past, but also make emotional and sometimes physical relationships that harm your marriage as easy as clicking and typing. Sage Navarra joins us to explore what makes these online relationships so appealing, what causes the emotional affairs to ensue, and steps you can take in your marriage to remove the temptation without forsaking your favorite online hang-out.

Sage is a Licensed Psychotherapist with a private practice in Chapel Hill, NC, where she provides psychotherapy for both individuals and couples on issues ranging from trauma and anxiety, to body image and intimacy. You can find out more about Sage and her practice on her website, at SageNavarra.com, or by calling her office at 919.929.3717

Changing jobs, or even careers has become a common occurrence in today’s economic climate and can be one of the most disruptive events in a couple’s relationship. Dr. Tina Lepage returns to the show to take a look at what makes these transitions so stressful to a marriage and shares tips on how to keep anxiety about schedules and income from creating tension and distance between you and your spouse.

Tina is the founder of Lepage Associates, where she focuses on personal and professional relationship issues, as well as children and family therapy, and personal growth. You can find out more about Tina and her staff by visiting her website at LepageAssociates.com, or by calling her office at 919.572.0000

When an argument is brewing, do you know exactly how it will play out before the first angry word is said? Are you constantly having the same argument over and over without ever resolving the root issue? Stephen Hawthorne joins us to examine why we avoid tackling the problems that cause us to have the same argument repeatedly and how to open up to your spouse and resolve these conflicts once and for all.

Stephen has been on the faculty of Duke Medical Center since 1977 and has operated his own private practice in Durham since 1981, where he specializes in psychotherapy services for adults, and children, ranging from chronic illness and depression, to sexual dysfunction and ADHD. You can find out more about Stephen by visiting his website at StephenHawthorneLCSW.com and by visiting his blog about his unique ABCTherapy at ABCTherapy.WordPress.com

Divorce is almost non-existent in the Amish community, but is there anything we can learn from their approach without giving up modern life? Suzanne Woods Fisher joins us to discuss her latest book, Amish Peace: Simple Wisdom for a Complicated World. In the book, Suzanne shares stories from the time she spent researching and living with the Amish and how their unique approach to marriage and family creates relationships.

For more information about the book, as well as Suzanne’s upcoming fiction and non-fiction books about the Amish, be sure to visit her website at SuzanneWoodsFisher.com, where Suzanne also blogs regularly. You can order Amish Peace here from Amazon.com or by calling 800-877-2665.

Has an affair left you unable to trust or respect your spouse, or are you concerned that a growing emotional distance between you and your partner may lead to infidelity? Dr. Stephen Frueh returns to the show to discuss what role each spouse plays in an affair and recovery and take a look at traditional views on blame and responsibility can drive a couple farther apart.

To find out more about Stephen’s speaking and workshops and to subscribe to his podcast, be sure to visit MarriageConversation.com, where you can learn more about his upcoming book, From Marginal To Magnificent: How to Make Your Marriage Sing. You can also check out his last book, With These Rings at Amazon.com. Stephen also recommends Bruce Derman’s We’d Have A Great Relationship if It Weren’t For You for any couple that feels their marriage is marginal.

Has the need to check one more email, take one more call, or watch one more episode made family time and one-on-one communication with your spouse an impossibility? Do you feel that your partner has tuned you out in favor of constant connectivity to things outside your marriage? Dr. Colleen Hamilton returns to the show to examine what constitutes a normal level of distraction in our day to day lives and both the causes and effects of disconnecting from the relationship on both you and your spouse.

Colleen practices with Lepage Associates in Durham, NC, where she specializes in interpersonal relationships, depression and anxiety, children’s therapy, and parent coaching. You can find out more about Colleen by visiting the Lepage Associates website, or calling her office at 919.572.0000

Is it inevitable that as a marriage matures, satisfaction and communication suffer, or are we simply ill-equipped to manage the emotional changes that are a natural part of relationships? Dr. Bryce Kaye joins us to explore the main reasons marriages lose their verve and how understanding the reflexive nature of our emotions can help repair them, as well as discussing his new book, The Marriage First Aid Kit.

Bryce has more than 35 years of experience in therapy and marriage counseling and has a private practice in Cary, NC and Oriental, NC. You can find out more about The Marriage First Aid Kit at the book’s website, MarriageFirstAid.com, and you can order a copy from Amazon.com by clicking here. To find out more about Bryce’s practice, visit his website at CaryCounseling.com

Where is the line between a normal concern for your spouse’s well-being, and micr0-managing his or her every decision? Are problems with respect and control solely the fault of the “parent” in the relationship, or do both spouses play a part in creating this kind of dynamic? Dr. Katrina Kuzyszyn-Jones joins us to look at the control issues and maturity issues that can lead to this problem and discuss what both spouses can do today to start fixing this unhealthy pattern.

Katrina holds a Masters degree in Forensic Psychology, a Doctorate in Clinical Psychology, and has been practicing for over 10 years. Katrina practices with Lepage Associates in Durham, NC and can be reached at 919.572.0000, or by visiting LepageAssociates.com

With a baby on the way, life can become even more hectic than usual and your relationship with your spouse can be one of the first things to suffer. The physical changes can be hard enough to deal with, but what impact do changes in mood, increased responsibility, and the limelight (or lack thereof for dads) of pregnancy have on the relationship? Does the length of time you’ve been married before having a child make things easier? Dr. Kristen Wynns returns tot he show to take a look at how factors like length of marriage, number of other children, and emotional preparedness can impact intimacy with your spouse.

Dr. Wynns has a newly relocated practice in Cary, NC and specializes in therapy for children, adolescents, and families. You can find out more about Dr. Wynns practice and services at her website, KristenWynns.com, or by calling her office at 919.805.0182. Kristen also has a brand new blog called Marriage and Parenting 101 with great advice for parents.

Has weight become a “big” issue in your marriage? Is it leading to intimacy problems, control issues, and health concerns that you don’t know how to address?  It’s easy for a marriage to run into trouble when one spouse puts on a significant amount of weight but can be difficult to address in a compassionate and constructive way.  Dr. Susan Orenstein joins us to discuss what factors can contribute to weight gain in a marriage, the relationship between eating and emotions, and how to approach such a touchy subject without causing conflict.

Dr. Orenstein is a licensed Psychologist with a private practice in Cary, NC and a newly opened location in Chapel Hill, NC.  She also conducts the Stay Happily Married seminar series in Raleigh.  You can find out more about Dr. Orenstein at www.orensteinsolutions.com

Have you ever asked yourself if your spouse is the right person for you? Do you find that your marriage presents challenges you didn’t expect and wonder if you aren’t as “compatible” with your spouse as you thought? Rabbi Stephen Baars joins us to discuss why we have these feelings, what our expectations of marriage can do to influence them, and how to get back to the point of certainty you had when you first fell in love.

Rabbi Baars has been counseling couples on their marriages for over 20 years.  Rabbi Baars is dedicated to helping couples get on the right track to marriage success. You can find out more about Rabbi Baars seminars and lectures, as well as his book, Bliss: The Marriage and Parenting Book, at his website, www.GetBliss.com

Why is it so easy to blame the problems in your marriage solely on your spouse, but so difficult to examine your own contributions to problems in the relationship? Is it possible to improve the situation with your spouse by changing your own behaviors? Counselor and broadcast personality Carolyn Craft joins us to discuss how to improve our marriages by focusing on our own contributions to problems we blame on our spouses.

In addition to her private practice in Durham, NC where she specializes in communication, sexual issues, addiction, and grief/loss, Carolyn is an ordained minister and hosted a popular show on Sirius Satellite radio for 10 years. You can find out more about Carolyn’s broadcasting career at CarolynCraft.com and more about her counseling practice at www.unity.vpweb.com

Do you find that personality differences between you and your spouse lead to constant arguements? Is your passive or agressive behavior fueling your spouse’s behavior as well? Liza Shaw joins us to discuss the perils of both passive and agressive behavior and how you can be assertive – voicing your opinion without being abrasive and without letting your spouse walk all over you.

Liza is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Certified Advanced Clinical Hypnotherapist with a private practice in Hickory, NC, where she specializes in couples counseling, family counseling, and grief therapy. You can find out more about Liza and her practice at PowerToThrive.com – or visit PowerToThriveRadio.com for interviews and podcasts. You can also call her office at 828.328.4673

Flowers may be the de facto standard for Valentine’s Day or when you’re in the dog house, but can flowers or a special gift for no reason at all really win you points with your spouse? Ben Buie and Sharon Miller of Lake Boone Florist join us to talk about how to pick the right arrangement for your spouse, how you can add a personal touch for maximum impact, and some interesting flower delivery stories.

The pair also covers what you can do to get the best bang for your buck and if you don’t know where to start, Lake Boone Florist offers a handy flower dictionary on their website. You can find out more at LakeBooneFlorist.com, or by calling them at 1-800-677-6293

Do you feel that your spouse’s lack of appreciation is a sign that he or she is no longer happy with the relationship? Or is your spouse upset with your marriage while you think things are going fine? This dynamic can lead to feelings of betrayal that quickly spiral into much larger problems like suspicion and resentment that can be toxic to your relationship. Charlotte Michie joins us to discuss what role both spouses play in this problem and how you and your spouse can improve your trust and communication to revive the compassion in your relationship.

Charlotte holds Masters degrees in both Social Psychology and Social Work, and does both individual and couples counseling in her Cary, NC practice. You can find out more about Charlotte on her website, CAMichie.com, or by calling her office at 919.467.3661

Affairs or even the suspicion of an affair can drive a huge wedge into a couple’s marriage.  Author Peggy Vaughan joins us in studio to discuss her own experience with her husband’s affair as well as discussing how a married couple can get past the affair on their way to continuing a happy and fulfilling marriage.

Peggy is one of the country’s leading experts on the subject of affairs.  She’s appeared on television shows, in multiple magazines and newspapers, and has written numerous books on affairs and infidelity.  You can find out more about Peggy by visiting her website at DearPeggy.com.  You can also buy her book The Monogamy Myth: A Personal Handbook for Recovering from Affairs at Amazon.com.

Sometimes, the hardest part of getting to marriage counseling is taking care of the cost. Not knowing how counselors bill, or how much counseling will cost can end up putting more pressure on an already strained relationship. Dr. Tina Lepage joins us to discuss what options therapists provide and how to find the therapist that is right for you without spending an arm and a leg on initial sessions with different counselors, as well as how to find out when sliding-scale and pro-bono options are available.

Tina is the founder of Lepage Associates, where she focuses on personal and professional relationship issues, as well as children and family therapy, and personal growth. You can find out more about Tina and her staff by visiting her website at LepageAssociates.com, or by calling her office at 919.572.0000

Is your spouse restless, a snorer, or a night-owl? Do you sleep in separate beds because  you can’t agree on temperature or bedtime? Tina Lepage returns to the show to look at issues that couples face when sleeping in the same bed and the importance of creating a pleasant and relaxing bedtime experience with your spouse.

Tina is the founder of Lepage Associates, where she focuses on personal and professional relationship issues, as well as children and family therapy, and personal growth. You can find out more about Tina and her staff by visiting her website at LepageAssociates.com, or by calling her office at 919.572.0000

Is your marriage lopsided? Is one spouse so emotionally dependent on the other that it is causing tension and stress between the two of you? Jennifer Coleman joins us to examine the line between a healthy and unhealthy emotional dependence on your spouse and what you can do to identify and correct dependency issues in your relationship.

Jennifer is a licensed professional counselor and is a nationally certified counselor who practices with Eastover Psychological and Psychiatric Group in Cornelius, NC, where she works with couples, families and  individuals from young children to adults on issues ranging from depression, anxiety, relationship issues and life transitions. Jennifer is also a Life Transitions Coach with Rosen Law Firm, where she helps clients set goals and priorities to help manage their lives. You can find out more about Jennifer and her practice at EPPG.org

Has physical intimacy taken a back seat to other responsibilities in your marriage?  Have you tried rekindling the spark you and your spouse had when you were first married with little success? Terry Northcutt, Director of Marriage Enrichment Programs with the Family Dynamics Institute,  joins us to discuss how to strengthen that intimate bond and bring passion back to your marriage.  He also discusses the programs and seminars available that are designed to help married couples renew their intimacy.

Terry is a former senior pastor who now serves as the Director of Marriage Enrichment Programs  at the Family Dynamics Institute.    You can find out more about the Family Dynamics Institute and the multitude of courses and workshops they offer by calling 800-650-9995, or visiting FamilyDynamics.net and SaveMyMarriage.com.

Do you ever wish you could bring back the excitement and energy you and your spouse had when dating, or have you just accepted that your relationship won’t have the sizzle it did at the beginning? Author Lindsey Rietzsch joins us to talk about why you shouldn’t stop dating your spouse just because you are married and shares her favorite tips for putting the spark back in your relationship.

Lindsey started out designing and teaching self management and relationship courses, one of which was so popular that it inspired the book “How To Date Your Spouse”. You can find out more about Lindsey and her book on her website, HowToDateYourSpouse.com, which also includes Lindsey’s blog and relationship forum. Buy How to Date Your Spouse from Amazon.com

Do you find yourself in endless fights with your spouse that never seem to resolve anything? Or perhaps you never discussing important issues and just letting them fester. Dr. Colleen Hamilton shares strategies for putting an end to destructive fighting and turning conflict into a process that is both constructive and beneficial to the marriage, as well as discussing how much fighting is too much, and whether fighting in front of the kids is always a bad idea.

Colleen practices with Lepage Associates in Durham, NC, where she specializes in interpersonal relationships, depression and anxiety, children’s therapy, and parent coaching. You can find out more about Colleen by visiting the Lepage Associates website, or calling her office at 919.572.0000

What’s the secret to a lifelong marriage? Sheryl Kurland, author of “Everlasting Matrimony: Pearls of Wisdom From Couples Married 50 Years Or More”, joins us to share what she learned from the 75 happily married couples she interviewed for her book, and how to put their advice to work in your relationship.

You can find out more about Sheryl and the book on her website, EverlastingMatrimony.com, which also features information about the corporate seminars and relationship workshops she offers for employers. Order Everlasting Matrimony
now at Amazon.com

It would be nice to sit down with everyone for dinner or a discussion, but with everyone’s busy lives, is rounding up the family for some time together even possible? Dr. Kristen Wynns returns to the show to share her tips on working family time into a hectic schedule and discusses the importance of regular family communication (including the kids) on your marriage.

Dr. Wynns has a private practice in Durham, NC and specializes in therapy for children, adolescents, and families. You can find out more about Dr. Wynns practice and services at her website, KristenWynns.com, or by calling her office at 919.805.0182. Kristen also has a brand new blog called Marriage and Parenting 101

Is it possible to add the romantic flare of an epic fantasy to your daily life of work, carpool, and grocery shopping? Are big, gallant gestures always required to make your spouse feel loved, or are the smaller, every-day expressions of care and commitment more important?

Romance author Sonja Foust joins us to discuss what she has learned about being married from writing romance novels, as well as what being a romance author has taught her about marriage, and covers the importance of everyday romantic gestures and pitfalls of setting unrealistic expectations for yourself and your spouse. You can find out more about Sonja and her writing at her website, SonjaFoust.com

Financial stress can take a toll on even the strongest marriages and in today’s uncertain economic climate, the differences in spending habits between spouses, lack of a family budget, and everyday money issues put us all at risk of a meltdown.

Dr. Kim Kimberling joins us to discuss the money mistakes he sees couples making on a daily basis and shares his tips for keeping your bank account in the black and your marriage on solid ground.

Dr. Kimberling has been a professional counselor for over twenty years and is the President and co-founder of Family Christian Counseling in Oklahoma City. You can learn more about Dr. Kimberling and  his popular Prep for Marriage classes at PrepForMarriage.com. While you’re there, be sure to take a look at his latest book, Living the Marriage of a Lifetime, as well.

Lee and Kim also discuss Dave Ramsey’s excellent online financial resources, available at www.DaveRamsey.com

What used to require a secret trip to a shady newsstand and the risk of being spotted by a friend or neighbor is now just keyclicks away. With pornography becoming easier to obtain and less of a social stigma, has its presence become a stumbling-block in your relationship? Dr. Nicole Imbraguglio joins us to discuss the patterns and effects of pornography use in a marriage and the impact it has on both spouses, as well as how a couple can reconcile their feelings and behavior with one another.

Dr. Imbraguglio practices with Lepage Associates in Durham, NC and helps both adults and children with a wide range of emotional issues. She has provided counseling for individuals, groups, couples, and families. You can learn more about Nicole at LepageAssociates.com.

Apologizing can be a lot more difficult than it seems. Dr. Kristen Wynns joins us to discuss why some of us find it so hard to apologize to our spouses, the impact of always needing to be right on a marriage, why making your spouse believe your apology is for real can be difficult, as well as her 5 steps for a sincere and constructive apology.

Dr. Wynns has a private practice in Durham, NC and specializes in therapy for children, adolescents, and families. You can find out more about Dr. Wynns practice and services at her website, KristenWynns.com, or by calling her office at 919.805.0182. Kristen also has a brand new blog called Marriage and Parenting 101

Is your bedroom so cluttered or so spartan that relaxation and romance are simply impossible? Most of us are guilty of either filling up the bedroom with junk that won’t fit anywhere else, or treating it like a cold and sterile museum. Jenna Boyd joins us to cover common mistakes in bedroom organization and to share tips and simple changes you can make today to turn your bedroom into a stress-free haven for intimacy and romance.

Jenna is a certified practitioner of Feng Shui, a member of the National Association of Professional Organizers, and contributor to PINK Magazine. You can find out more about Jenna at ElementsOfHarmony.com or by calling her office at 919.757.2732

Everyone has incidents where a spouse (either husband or wife) is resistant to cooperation or compromise. What kind of factors lead to this behavior? Do parents, social norms, or other factors have a bigger impact?

Dr. Tina Lepage joins us to discuss common issues where husbands and wives have disagreements and how to assess and resolve these issues. Tina is the founder of Lepage Associates, where she focuses on personal and professional relationship issues, as well as children and family therapy, and personal growth. You can find out more about Tina and her staff by visiting her website at LepageAssociates.com, or by calling her office at 919.572.0000

Choosing a marriage counselor can be a difficult and sometimes scary task. Where do you find a qualified counselor? Will your insurance cover therapy? How can you be sure that you and your spouse are getting the most out of therapy and that the counselor you have selected is a good fit for your relationship? Amy McMillan joins us to share some tips on where to look and what to look for in a prospective counselor.

Amy is a Board Certified Licensed Professional Counselor. She has been in private practice since 1999 at her Cary office and recently opened up a satellite office in Raleigh. To find out more about Amy and the services she offers, visit her at CaryBehavioral.com and BelieveInTherapy.com

Whether it’s picking up the kids, checking email on the blackberry, obsessing over a conversation at work last week, or worrying about what to do for dinner tonight – we’re all trying to do 100 things at once. It’s tempting to stay busy in an effort to feel productive, but what if all of this busyness is really causing more stress and anxiety?

Dr. Suzan Wasik joins us to talk about what happens to our quality of life when our minds are cluttered with everything and nothing at the same time, the impact that has on our relationships – especially marriage, and what you can do to keep your mind clutter free while getting more done and making your relationship with your spouse a top priority.

You can find out a lot more about Suzan at the Carolina Care and Counseling website, at CarolinaCareInc.com, or by calling the office at 919.676.1497. There is also a lot of great information at the SOMA Consulting website, where she offers small group workshops, organizational consulting, and retreats - ManagingTheMonkeyMind.com

Click here to view the embedded video.

We would like to thank you for listening to our show every week and wish you all a very happy Valentine’s Day. It’s rare that we have more than a few quick minutes in a day to really communicate with our spouses, but it’s important to take every opportunity we can to communicate. It seems like our fast-paced lives often make communication more difficult, but we have far more options now that make keeping in touch throughout the day a whole lot easier. Whatever you do for Valentine’s day, make sure that you do it together and take time to communicate. Thanks again!

Sometimes, a couple can’t wait to get the kids out of the house, but in other circumstances, when the children leave, feelings of loneliness can be amplified and there aren’t other family members around to serve as a distraction from other issues that are affecting a marriage. Susan Orenstein, Ph.D. joins us to discuss the positive and negative aspects of children leaving the home.

Susan is a licensed Psychologist with offices in Cary, NC and Chapel Hill, NC and you can find out more about her practice by visiting her website at OrensteinSolutions.com or calling her office at 919.654.7311

Is your living space having a negative impact on your relationship? Many couples would not think that the home environment itself can have an effect on marital bliss, but Jenna Boyd and Susan Orenstein, Ph.D. join us to discuss how clutter, color, and emotional distractions can create stress and tension that robs your marriage of intimacy.

Susan is a licensed Psychologist with offices in Cary, NC and Chapel Hill, NC and you can find out more about her practice by visiting her website at OrensteinSolutions.com or calling her office at 919.654.7311

Jenna is a certified practitioner of Feng Shui, a member of the National Association of Professional Organizers, and contributor to PINK Magazine. You can find out more about Jenna at ElementsOfHarmony.com or by calling her office at 919.757.2732

Every marriage faces issues where one or both partners feel frustrated with the level of intimacy in the relationship, but these incompatibility problems can create bigger difficulties when spouses feel like they can’t bring up the topic with their partners. Dr. Katrina Kuzyszyn joins us to discuss how you can bring up issues of sexual incompatibility with your spouse without creating a sense of pressure or rejection from either partner.

Katrina holds a Masters degree in Forensic Psychology, a Doctorate in Clinical Psychology, and has been practicing for over 9 years. Katrina practices with Lepage Associates in Durham, NC and can be reached at 919.572.0000, or by visiting LepageAssociates.com

Do you find youself immediately jumping to the conclusion that everything your spouse does is meant to upset you? Patty Newbold joins us to discuss how assuming that your spouse is acting out of love can prevent countless marital problems and give you a healthier perspective on your relationship.

Patty also covers how prone we are to locking into a very limited number of solutions to conflicts in our marriages and what you can do to find alternatives that not only solve the problem, but do so without creating more tension between you and your spouse.

You can find out more about Patty on her blog, AssumeLove.com and you can access her podcasts, ebooks, and teleseminars by visiting EnjoyBeingMarried.com

Married life can be hectic – are you taking time to cover the nuts and bolts of your relationship on a regular basis? Cory Huff from AGoodHusband.net and HusbandsAndDads.com joins us to talk about a weekly 4 Step Relationship Review that he has implemented in his marriage and the impact it has had on his relationship.

Cory discusses how he came up with the review, how to deal with a spouse who may be hesitant to participate, and important topics to cover, including finances, priorities, and obligations. You can read Cory’s article on the review here, and read his other articles at both AGoodHusband.net and HusbandsAndDads.com

Parenting can be tough and sometimes all your hard work can come at the expense of your spouse. It’s easy to neglect each other when you’re focusing on the children – the key is to save some of the focus for both of you. Rabbi Stephen Baars has been counseling couples on their marriages for over 20 years and joins us to discuss the BLISS program he designed to help couples manage the roles of both parent and spouse.

Rabbi Baars is dedicated to helping couples get on the right track to marriage success. You can find out more about Rabbi Baars seminars and lectures, as well as his book, Bliss: The Marriage and Parenting Book, at his website, www.GetBliss.com

Are the feelings of irritability, withdrawal, and tiredness that you or your spouse are feeling just temporary, or signs of a bigger problem? Dr. Nicole Imbraguglio joins us to discuss how easy it can be to let depression go unnoticed and the toll that depression can have on children, the other spouse, and the entire marriage.

Dr. Imbraguglio practices with Lepage Associates in Durham, NC and helps both adults and children with a wide range of emotional issues. She has provided counseling for individuals, groups, couples, and families. You can learn more about Nicole at LepageAssociates.com.

What makes a marriage counselor decide to go in for counseling? Jennifer Coleman is a Life Transition Coach with Rosen Law Firm who has worked as a marriage counselor as well and joins us to talk about her experience visiting a marriage therapist with her husband. Jennifer discusses how she and her husband decided on a counselor, why they decided to go, how many sessions they needed, and how they knew when their issues were resolved.

Jennifer discusses the initial apprehension that even she had about seeing a therapist and shares some tips on making the process more comfortable for both you and your spouse. She also gives advice on the benefits of seeing a counselor before any major crises arise and how to focus on your spouse and your marriage amidst the stressors of daily life.

It’s always nice to be reminded that you’ve made a good decision, and being married and involved in your child’s life are two of the greatest decisions you can make. Roland Warren, President of the National Fatherhood Initiative joins us to discuss the NFI’s popular brochure, The 7 Benefits of Marriage For Men. Roland covers the the impact of marriage on the quality of life of men, as well as the immeasurably positive effects of being an involved father.

Roland has been married for 26 years and has two grown sons, and now serves as President of the National Fatherhood Initiative. To find out more about the National Fatherhood Initiative, visit Fatherhood.org –  the website offers a host of resources, from webinars and downloadable materials, to community programs and events for schools, dads in the military, and more.

Can a weekend getaway really help your marriage? Does counseling with other couples have benefits over a more traditional approach? Richard and Diana Daffner join us to discuss their “Intimacy Retreats”, where couples take a weekend to focus exclusively on the intimate bond with each other and cover the key differences between traditional therapy and marriage retreats, including the benefits a group dynamic has over private sessions, the kind of interaction couples have with each other, and whether some couples find group therapy easier than conventional practice.

You can find out much more about Richard and Diana’s intimacy retreats on their website, IntimacyRetreats.com, or by calling them at 1.877.282.4244. The website also includes a schedule of upcoming retreats from November through February, as well as information on Richard and Diana’s upcoming book, Tantric Sex for Busy Couples.

We’ve all procrastinated at some point, but when avoiding important issues becomes a compulsion, it can have negative effects on your relationship.  Dr. Gloria Arenson joins us to talk about her latest book, Procrastination Nation, and discusses the serious consequences that arise when spouses avoid completing tasks – a behavior often motivated my fear.

Gloria is a psychotherapist, teacher, and author, who runs a private practice in Santa Barbara California.  You can find much more information about Gloria’s other books and media appearances, as well as free articles and other resources on her website at GloriaArenson.com.  You can order a copy of Procrastination Nation from Amazon.com by clicking here.

It’s always better to stop a problem before it begins than trying to fix it after the fact.  Dr. Betty Phillips joins us to discuss some of the underlying causes of marital infidelity and why problems couples have that may seem trivial or unrelated to the relationship can lead to affairs.  Dr. Phillips also takes time to discuss some of the common indicators that a marriage needs more attention to ensure that infidelity does not become a reality.

Dr. Phillips holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from Harvard University and is certified by the National Register of Psychologists. She specializes in relationship and marriage counseling, including helping couples deal with the challenge of recovering from infidelity. Her office is located at 466 Eagle Point Rd. Pittsboro, NC 27312. You can find out more about Dr. Phillips practice, as well as other articles she has written on her website, or by contacting her at (919) 967.1860

Keeping your marriage healthy takes a lot of work under the best of circumstances.  Tina Tessina, a.k.a. “Dr. Romance”, joins us to talk about her latest book, The Commuter Marriage and discusses what steps couples can take when one spouse is away for days or weeks at a time.

Work assignments, better paying jobs, and military deployments are just a few of the circumstances that can put a couple in the position of having a commuter marriage.  Tina takes a look at the issues a couple needs to address to make sure the time apart doesn’t adversely impact their relationship, as well as examining the benefits that time apart can provide a couple.

Tina is the author of 13 books and is a licenced psychotherapist with 30 years of experience in counseling.  Her website, TinaTessina.com, offers much more information about her workshops, appearances, and book signings, as well as a free newsletter and blog on marriage tips.

You can order a copy of The Commuter Marriage from Amazon.com by clicking here.

Bill and Pam Farrel join us to talk about their book, The 10 Best Decisions a Couple Can Make, and explain the importance of emotions and communication in making decisions for the good of your relationship.

The Farrels also discuss the importance of keeping a positive outlook regardless of the challenges your relationship faces, as well as how great an impact keeping a sense of humor, even in trying times, can have on your marriage.

The 10 Best Decisions a Couple Can Make is out now on Harvest House Publishers.  Order it now on Amazon.  You can visit their website, FarrelCommunications.com for signed copies of this and other books, as well as more information about Bill and Pam’s CD sets and speaking engagements.

Author and researcher Maggie Scarf joins us to discuss her latest book, September Songs: The Good News About Marriage in the Later Years.  In the book, Maggie examines the “Bonus Years”, or 20+ years after 50 that increased life expectancy has created in the past few generations, and takes a look at how marital satisfaction increases during this phase.

Maggie covers communication, sex, problem solving, and financial issues that affect this stage of life and why it often doesn’t get the coverage it deserves, as well as what she describes as the “U-shaped curve” of marital happiness.

September Songs is out now on Riverhead Books.  You can click here to order it from Amazon.com, or visit Maggie’s website for more information, as well as her blog and other articles.

Does the idea of visiting a marriage counselor seem like admitting a problem in your relationship, or do you just find the whole experience intimidating? Licenced therapist Sonyia Richardson joins us to put your fears to rest by walking through a first visit and covering the benefits of counseling to both couples who are struggling with particular issues and happily married couples.

You can find out more about Sonyia’s Charlotte practice on her website, SonyiaRichardson.com, or by calling her office at 704.548.5498. For more information on her couples retreats, visit www.AnotherLevelRetreats.com

Every marriage has ups and downs, but it can sometimes be difficult to make sure that the inevitable disappointments don’t grow into larger problems and adversely affect a couple’s relationship. Dr. Steevie Jane Parks takes time to discuss some common events that lead to disappointment in a marriage and how each spouse reacts, as well as how couples can take these challenges head-on and use them to strengthen their relationship.

Dr. Steevie Jane Parks has been practicing for more than 20 years and currently lives and works in Carrboro, NC, where she offers couples and family counseling, as well as art therapy workshops and self-esteem building groups for adolescents. More information about Dr. Parks’ services is available on her website, DrSteevieJaneParks.com, or by calling her office at 919.918.1014.

Children can place stress on any marriage, and when kids are dealing with behavioral or emotional problems, it can often be even more trying on the parents. Dr. Kristen Wynns returns to discuss some of the differences between chronic problems and those that are a natural part of development, as well as what parents can do to make sure the special needs of their children don’t take a toll on the marriage itself.

Dr. Wynns has a private practice in Durham, NC and specializes in therapy for children, adolescents, and families. You can find out more about Dr. Wynns practice and services at her website, KristenWynns.com, or by calling her office at 919.805.0182.

Is conflict in your marriage taking a toll on your children? Even if the arguments take place behind closed doors, they can still impact your kids. Dr. Kristen Wynns discusses some tactics parents often use without realizing the effects and how parents can resolve conflicts in a constructive manner that provides a positive behavioral model for their children.

Dr. Wynns has a private practice in Durham, NC and specializes in therapy for children, adolescents, and families. You can find out more about Dr. Wynns practice and services at her website, KristenWynns.com, or by calling her office at 919.805.0182.

We will return with new episodes next week. Please enjoy this popular episode with guest Erin Langdon.

Substance abuse is a problem that affects many families in the U.S. In this podcast, Erin Langdon, a Licensed Practicing Clinician and Clinicial Addictions Specialist, discusses substance abuse and its affect on a marriage. She also gives tips for how to deal with your spouse’s problem with substance abuse and the recovery process.

Erin Langdon holds a Master’s Degree in counseling from Appalachian State University and is currently working to receive her PhD in Counseling from the University of North Carolina at Charlotte. She currently practices with University Psychological Associates in Charlotte, North Carolina. Erin can be reached at 704.547.1438.

Sponsored by:

You can access a transcript of this show here.

Click below to play the show.

Have you built an “Us” in your marriage?

In this podcast, Lesli Doares, LMFT, discusses the concept of building an “Us,” for married couples. Doares gives a list of steps to follow for the most crucial transition in your marriage.

Lesli’s practice in Cary, North Carolina, Balanced Family Therapy, focuses on helping couples build strong, secure relationships. She is not only a qualified professional, but has twenty years of marriage experience with her husband in addition to having two children. To find out more about Lesli, please visit her website at http://balancedfamily.com/

By Betty Phillips

Why do people think twice about calling a marriage counselor when they don’t hesitate to call other specialists for professional services? Tax advisers, interior designers, home inspectors, doctors, dentists, all stand ready to provide advice and consultation services when requested. There’s no need for any admission of failure when you call a tax adviser; you just shop for the best adviser for your issues. Just as there is no shame in calling a tax adviser, there should be no embarrassment about calling a marriage counselor. In fact you should feel proud to call a therapist to provide professional services for your most valued assets, your marriage and family. You can call for marriage counseling assistance as prevention, intervention or crisis management.

We care for our cars by checking oil levels, inflating tires and scheduling tune-ups to keep the automobile running smoothly and prevent future problems. Similarly, a marriage counselor can provide preventive maintenance services. Prenuptial counseling is frequently discussed but seldom utilized as the couple’s romantic bliss obscures all but the most serious impending problems. Most couples don’t even consider marriage counseling as the relationship begins to settle down into daily life issues and as stresses and strains start to erode the “live happily ever after” myth. In this article I’m asking you to consider a round of marriage counseling before typical marriage concerns (such as finances, parenting, division-of-labor, in-laws, or sexual compatibility problems) take over. After an initial consultation, the couple and therapist step back for an informal “evaluation” of the marital issues and begin a plan of sessions sometimes with “homework” to practice new skills. Far from being just a clinical analysis of conflict management issues, the prevention plan will often focus on new ways for the couple to have fun together such as date nights to preserve or improve love and intimacy.

When emerging problems harden into ongoing frustrations and then into conflicts, and when problems keep recurring without resolution, the intervention of marriage counseling will often put the marriage back into balance. Some issues can be resolved during the sessions, while the couple can learn to live with other problems. Marriage counseling services provide a retreat from everyday stress and a place to focus on the marriage with an experienced adviser to mediate disputes and teach new skills. While conflict resolution skills are important at this stage, the couple will also learn about the need to prioritize positive interactions to build up a “love bank” to protect the marriage from the wounds of hurt and anger. Far from feeling guilty that they “need” marriage counseling, husband and wife should be proud of their accomplishments in taking steps to face the tough issues and improve the quality of their relationship and their lives.

Crisis intervention marriage counseling is needed when thoughts of escape from the marriage surface in the form of conflict behaviors such as withdrawal and stonewalling, violent arguments, extramarital affairs, thoughts or talk about separation and divorce. Such problems often follow a phase of “pretend everything is all right.” Rather than deny or bury the pain, marriage counseling will help the couple focus on resolving the problems and can often turn the crisis into an improved marriage. Marriages can be saved even when extramarital affairs are discovered, although the process is slow and painful. If your marriage is in crisis, don’t wait! It can be too late.

What if your spouse won’t participate in marriage counseling? Then you will need to take action yourself. Even when both husband and wife agree to the marriage counseling, you can only change yourself, not your spouse. Marriage counselors are also individual therapists and often tackle marriage problems with the willing spouse.

Even if your marriage is headed toward separation or divorce, most marriage counselors are also experienced in handling these issues. Friendly support and advice can feel like life savers at this time of crisis. It can be a mistake for husband or wife to try to hang on to the marriage because of fear of exiting into a lonely, loveless existence. Separation and divorce can be a chance to build a new and improved life in the face of irreconcilable differences.

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Dr. Phillips holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from Harvard University and is certified by the National Register of Psychologists. She specializes in relationship and marriage counseling, including helping couples deal with the challenge of recovering from infidelity. Her office is located at 466 Eagle Point Rd. Pittsboro, NC 27312. You can find out more about Dr. Phillips practice, as well as other articles she has written on her website, or by contacting her at (919) 967.1860

Anniversaries are wonderful, but it’s easy to fall into the “flowers and dinner once a year” routine. Dr. Susan Orenstein returns to discuss what anniversaries mean in the context of marriage, and how they can be fantastic tools for appreciating your spouse improving your relationship. She explores the little things spouses can do to make each other feel connected, and the idea that time is more important than any gift.

Dr. Orenstein is a licensed psychologist with offices in Cary, NC and Chapel Hill NC. She specializes in couples counseling dealing with issues including intimacy, marital satisfaction, affair recovery, and work/family balance. You can find out more about Susan’s practice and seminars by visiting her site: OrensteinSolutions.com, or calling her office at (919) 654 – 7311.

By Betty Phillips

After the honeymoon, when you realize that 50% of all marriages actually do end in divorce, marriage partners begin to realize the enormity of the tasks involved in staying happily married. Positive conflict management becomes a high priority in keeping marriages together. All couples argue, even in successful marriages, but happily married partners learn how to argue, stay best friends, and stay in love.

The overriding principle in managing arguments and conflicts is to make sure that rational thinking prevails and emotions do not run amuck. Visualize a continuum of emotions running from 0 to 10, with 10 being the highest level of anger and dissent ; you should try to keep your arguments/discussions at level 3 where you are engaged in the issues but not so overwhelmed by feelings that rational thinking is impossible. Many couples have learned to agree to schedule a “time out” when emotions run high, with the withdrawing partner agreeing to schedule “time in” to resolve the problem when both spouses calm down.

The following discussion is organized around the concept of ” SOLVE” to emphasize the fact that marital problems can be resolved in an atmosphere of love and respect.

“S” stands for the fact that you should try to schedule discussions of problems when both spouses are calm and focused and willing to discuss the issue. You all probably have experienced the opposite, running out of the door on a tight schedule, when your spouse brings up hot issues which cannot be resolved at the time, and both leave for daily activities feeling upset and angry. Too many of these unsuccessful encounters leave the marriage partners feeling frustrated with a growing number of underlying resentments.

“O” asks the question, what outcome do you really want for yourself and your partner? Pick one issue to discuss at a time, deciding the importance of the issue and whether your proposed solution is reasonable. Too often arguments become confused with a lot of side issues and unresolved problems thrown in, making it impossible to solve anything and again increasing resentments. Also realize that it makes no sense to argue about the past which cannot be changed. So stay focused on the present and future and decide what outcomes would be reasonable for you and your spouse.

“L” stands for listen to your partner until you really understand his or her point of view. What usually happens during an argument is that you never really listen to your partner, instead rehearsing your reply while you wait for your spouse to stop talking. So no one really feels heard and discussions escalate to arguments. If you don’t understand your partner’s point of view, ask questions until you do. Make sure that you validate your spouse’s point of view by showing your understanding of his or her position, even if you then proceed to state a different position on the issue.

“V” stands for verbalize your thoughts, feelings, needs and possible solutions. To keep a discussion positive, use “I” or “we” messages, not “you” messages. An example will illustrate the difference. Let’s say your spouse leaves towels, socks etc. on the floor. ” You are a slob” is an invitation to a fight; ” I get upset when stuff is left on the floor” is less accusatory; ” We have a problem keeping our house neat” may lead to a productive discussion. Try to discuss or “brainstorm” many possible solutions to resolve the problem; a solution may emerge as various possibilities are discussed in a calm manner.

“E” calls your attention to the need to evaluate your solutions after you try them out. Good ideas often go by the wayside when they are not discussed. Too often one partner may forget, the other may become resentful that the agreement was not followed, and then both stop implementing the solution. Instead, pick a time to sit down and review marriage issues to make sure that agreements are honored.

Sounds simple, doesn’t it? Not so. Actually it’s one of the hardest things that we can do, making sure our rational minds control our arguments, not our hot emotions. Cut out this article and put it on your refrigerator door or other prominent place, so you can refer to it when needed. You can also consult a marriage counselor to help you learn this process and by so doing protect and preserve your marriage. Marriage counseling can help prevent problems as well as save marriages.

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Dr. Phillips holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from Harvard University and is certified by the National Register of Psychologists. She specializes in relationship and marriage counseling, including helping couples deal with the challenge of recovering from infidelity. Her office is located at 466 Eagle Point Rd. Pittsboro, NC 27312. You can find out more about Dr. Phillips practice, as well as other articles she has written on her website, or by contacting her at (919) 967.1860

Are finances an open book in your marriage, or is money a taboo subject? Financial Advisor Bob Watral takes a look at how money can bring out the best and the worst in people and what you can do to ensure that finances don’t create a rift between you and your spouse. Many couples find the shift from focusing on personal finances to focusing on group finances presents a new set of challenges and can often lead to egos getting in the way of teamwork.

Bob is a Vice President of Wealth Management and Financial planning specialist who has been with Smith Barney for more than 20 years. You can reach Bob by calling his office at 919.877.2450, or visiting his website.

Worried that your spouse cannot satisfy you intimately? In this episode Dr. Debbie Neel returns (her previous visit can be found here) to discuss the differences of emotional intimacy and sexual intimacy, saying that integrating them allows for a strong, satisfied marriage. Emotional intimacy is the understanding, appreciation, and acceptance between mates: the ‘I love you unconditionally.’ Sexual intimacy is the physical openness, communication, and comfort of love and affection also requiring unconditional acceptance. Dr. Neel notes the differences in mental wiring of men and women, how their thoughts and expectations differ, showing that husbands and wives are not intentionally neglecting each other and argues that couples should understand they will change physically and emotionally and that good communication can help avoid a breakdown of intimacy.

Debbie Neel is a licenced psychologist, certified health services provider and certified sex therapist with a private practice in Raleigh North Carolina. She specializes in individual adult and couples therapy, sex therapy, and attention deficit disorder in adults. To find out more about Debbie and her practice, visit her website at http://www.atriumpsychology.com, or call her at (919) 781-8810.

Happy Father’s Day! Dr. Susan Orenstein discusses the importance of the father’s role in a successful marriage and happy family, which has changed from being the distant, work-oriented bread winner to being a nurturing caregiver with greater participation in his children’s activities and lives. Dr. Orenstein debunks many myths about marriage and fatherhood which have been perpetuated, if not created entirely, by what we see in Hollywood films or what we learn from our parents. Fathers are not the disinterested figures with low-expectations for their wives and children that they can be made out to be; rather, most fathers value the special bonds in their relationships with their families and often do not voice their greater expectations.

Dr. Orenstein is a licensed psychologist with offices in Cary, NC and Chapel Hill NC. She specializes in couples counseling dealing with issues including intimacy, marital satisfaction, affair recovery, and work/family balance. You can find out more about Susan’s practice and seminars by visiting her site: orensteinsolutions.com, or calling her office at (919) 654 – 7311.

“Hump: True Tales of Sex After Kids” takes a look at restoring the intimate bond between spouses after the changes in life that take place once children enter the picture. Author Kimberly Ford discusses the book and what prompted her to write it, as well as what she learned in the process. The book explores the importance of physical intimacy in making a couple feel like spouses and adults – not just parents. “Hump” is available July 8th on St. Martin’s Press.

Kimberly lives in California with her husband and three children. She received her Ph.D. in Spanish and French Literature in 2001 and since then has published short fiction and essays in magazines including Mothering, The Believer, and Brain, Child. You can find out more about Kimberly and her other work at kimberlyvford.com. To find out more about “Hump”, please visit humpthebook.com, where you can share your stories as well.

Click here to pre-order the book from Amazon.com.

Why are we quick to repair a clog in the kitchen sink, but let problems in our relationship pile up without fixing them? In this episode, Sharyn Wolf discusses her book “This Old Spouse: Tips and Tools for Keeping the Honeymoon Glow”, and how relating issues with your spouse to issues with your house not only makes it possible to approach and fix problems in a more practical manner, but to appreciate the positive attributes of your marriage more than you do already. Sharyn also goes into detail about the 5 tools that “do-it-yourselfers” need to start solving problems on their own, as well as the 5 behaviors more likely to do harm than benefit to a relationship.

You can find out more about the book at www.this-old-spouse.com, which also includes Sharyn’s blog, reviews of the book, reader stories, and information about Sharyn’s workshops, seminars and counseling services. Click here to order the book in hardcover, or here to pre-order the paperback edition (out June 24 on Plume Books).

Do changes in desire for your spouse mean that you are no longer in love? Debbie Neel, PhD. discusses how intimacy and desire mature over the course of a marriage and how to understand and enjoy a deeper relationship with your spouse. Physiological and hormonal changes that occur throughout a marriage may often send the wrong signal about loving one’s spouse, as does the waning sense of intimacy that can come from dealing with the mountain of day-to-day tasks that are pushed aside during the initial romance of a marriage.

Debbie Neel is a licenced psychologist, certified health services provider and certified sex therapist with a private practice in Raleigh North Carolina. She specializes in individual adult and couples therapy, sex therapy, and attention deficit disorder in adults. To find out more about Debbie and her practice, visit her website at http://www.atriumpsychology.com, or call her at (919) 781-8810.

It can be difficult to make an intimate relationship with your spouse a priority when a few years of work, kids, and other day-to-day responsibilities have crept in to your lives. When communication breaks down, the temptation to seek fulfillment outside of the marriage becomes much greater. Sherri Hughes, Certified Life Coach, Reiki Master, and Hypnotherapist, discusses what it takes to get a relationship back on track before serious problems arise.

Sherri practices in Raleigh North Carolina and offers a complementary 15 minute consultation to anyone interested in seeking marriage counseling. You can contact Sherri and find out more about her services by visiting her website at http://www.journeybeginswithin.com.

Hindsight is 20/20, but sometimes we can learn from the mistakes of others and avoid problems ourselves. Host Lee Rosen and guest Jennifer Coleman, a divorce coach with the Rosen Law Firm, discuss Jennifer’s experience in what she has learned about keeping a relationship strong by examining where others have fallen apart.

This episode touches on issues that commonly cause problems in a marriage, like lack of communication, but also goes deeper into issues such as setting goals in the interest of the marriage instead of the self, and what steps can be taken to repair a relationship if one party is considering a divorce.

You can find out more about Jennifer at the Rosen Law Firm website.

You can access a transcript of this show here.

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A serious illness puts incredible stress on even the strongest relationship. This week’s guest, David Garver LMFT, and host Lee Rosen discuss the emotional and psychological impact of an illness on both the well and the ill spouse, and touch on how these events can affect previous issues in the relationship, as well as how both spouses can address their newfound emotions of guilt, anger, and frustration.

David Garver specializes in couples therapy with University Psychological Associates in Charlotte, NC. He also works with adolescents and adults with trauma histories, adjustment/transitions, and family issues and focuses on helping adolescents gain greater self-esteem and assertiveness so that they may lead more satisfying, fulfilling lives. David can be reached at (704) 547-1483 or by visiting UniversityPsychologicalAssociates.com

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Many of us know couples who seem to have lost their own identities after they began dating. But what kind of problems can this cause in a long-term relationship or marriage? This week, Dr. Dan Ryan analyzes the “Popeye defense” and gives tips for how to achieve balance in your relationship by being an individual and being part of a couple.

Dr. Dan Ryan is a Licensed Psychologist with a private practice in Raleigh, NC. Dr. Ryan has worked in the mental health field, in a variety of settings, for over 33 years. Dr. Ryan can be contacted at 919.878.7800 x 2, or check out his website at www.psychotherapyresources.com/ryan.htm.