fighting

How can you tell when your partner drinks too much? When does drinking become a problem?

Imagine meeting someone new. You start going out on romantic dates- dates that maybe include a bottle of wine, candles, roses, the whole nine yards. Initially, the alcohol acts as an intimacy and romance enhancer. It helps you both loosen up, relax, and enjoy yourselves. But what happens when down the road the alcohol becomes toxic? Sometimes stress and tension build up and eventually it’s one partner who drinks too much, too frequently.

When one partner begins to develop a drinking problem, the other might start to feel like the alcohol has taken top priority in the relationship. Any little bit of consumption could start to be a bid deal, and the partners could begin to withdraw from each other, creating an even bigger issue. With communication mishaps and increased fighting, oftentimes married partners don’t know how to go back and fix the issue.

Today, Dr. Julia Messer is talking with us about how to handle this issue if and when it arises. As a licensed psychologist with Orenstein Solutions in Cary, NC, she helps couples and individuals develop practical coping solutions for many different challenging situations.

To find out more about Julia and her practice, visit their website or call (919) 428-2766 to make an appointment.

If you were the reason for the fighting in your marriage, would you be able to admit you were the “I” in the storm?

One of the biggest challenges facing couples today is their inability to truly hear one another and recognize the unhealthy communication patterns that develop over time. In many cases it starts with one partner, the “I” in the storm. This partner becomes a force in the relationship that is somewhat like the “eye” of a hurricane- the area surrounded by the most severe conditions.

When negative communication patterns develop or have already been developed, the strength of the marriage can take a hit. And oftentimes it results in distance and contempt between partners. The majority of the time, all each partner really wants is for the other to understand them. But in the midst of arguing over a point, compassion and understanding can sometimes fly out the window.

Leslie Petruk is a child and family therapist who joins us to discuss the the biggest predictors of divorce, but also the key to resolving communication problems within a marriage. At her practice SteppingStones Counseling and Consulting in Charlotte, NC, Leslie works to help individuals and couples build more connected and mindful lives.

To find out more about Leslie and her practice, visit their website, or call (704) 335-6100 to make an appointment.

Stressed out with parenting duties? Check out Leslie’s website that offers tips and resources for when you’re feeling overwhelmed.

What’s the real story behind infidelity and affair proofing your marriage?

Though data varies, many researchers and clinicians would say that about 25 percent of men and 15 percent of women engage in an affair during the course of their marriage. Extramarital affairs cross all boundaries. While the news media chronicle the affairs of our leaders and the rich and famous, chances are we likely know couples in our own circles who have experienced infidelity. When it comes to affair proofing your marriage, there are some obvious steps, but also some not-so-obvious ones.

The research that is available suggests that affairs happen across ethnic and racial lines, in red states and blue ones, in the homes of the rich and in the homes of the poor, regardless of educational level and by both men and women. Unfortunately, the statistics show that affairs and infidelity issues can happen across the board. Armed with that knowledge, it’s important to also know the steps to take to ensure your marriage is protected from infidelity.

Today’s guest is one of our regulars, Dr. Kristen Wynns of Wynns Family Psychology in Cary, NC. Though you and your spouse ultimately have control over the boundaries in your relationship, Kristen is here to discuss some of the important tips you both can stick with for affair proofing your marriage.

To find out more about Kristen and her practice, visit her website, or call (919) 467-7777 to make an appointment.