How far will you go to please your partner?
No one likes peering into a schoolyard and seeing a bully. Bullies are mean and manipulative, but they exist. What many people don’t know is the secret ingredient that gives bullies power. It’s submission. It’s very hard to have someone push you around if that is something that you are unwilling accept. It’s time to be heard and start speaking up for what you want.
Many marriages are filled with “people pleasers”. These are the people that will do anything for their spouse, should they ask. Whether it be picking up milk on the way home or climbing Mount Everest. While many people don’t like bullies, people pleasers are the ones who break up marriages. Is your eagerness to please splitting your marriage apart?
Dr. Julia Messer is a former high school English teacher turned Psychologist. Attending West Virginia University she received her Master’s and Doctorate in Clinical Psychology. Julia is one of those people that has really seen and done it all. Since graduating Julia has worked as a psychology teacher at UNC Chapel Hill, in a psychiatric hospital, within the criminal court system, and even in a forensic setting. Dr. Messer currently practices at Orenstein Solutions in Cary, NC, specializing in areas of anger management, substance abuse, depression and anxiety. To find out more about Dr. Julia Messer and Orenstein Solutions visit them online or call 919-428-2766 for an appointment.
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If your partner left you tomorrow, could you survive the betrayal?
When we were in school we had teachers who sat us down every day, year after year, and passed along piece after piece of information for us to retain and use as functioning adults.
Well, that was then and this is now. Who is there to teach us the life lessons we need as adults? Who is there to be our teacher when it feels like our entire world is crashing down around us?
Some form of intimate betrayal is a common fear among couples. From those who cause the pain to those on the receiving end, couples are unsure of how to battle the betrayal and come out on top.
Kathy Cato is educated in Marriage and Family Counseling and has a private practice, TriVista Counseling, in Raleigh, NC. Kathy is trained in the Imago and Gottman methods of couples counseling and is founder of the Holding Hands Program, a counselor-hosted meeting series that works to resolve problems and strengthen relationships through open communication and integrates individualized online assessments of each couple. Kathy has helped hundreds of couples work through betrayal in their marriages. In this episode, Kathy will share her ideas about betrayal and whether it can be overcome.
To find out more about Kathy Cato, visit TriVista Counseling online or call 919-710-7145 for an appointment.
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Lack of attention does not have to mean lack of a relationship.
Is an undiagnosed case of ADHD to blame for your spouse’s lack of attention to your relationship? The acronym ADHD summons several images to mind. We’re more likely to think of overactive children unable to concentrate in school, not our full-grown, adult partner. The truth is that ADHD is a condition that does not discriminate based on age, the effects of ADHD are just as likely to manifest in adults. However, many adults are not even aware that their behavior could be linked to a medical diagnosis. Have you ever felt like a parent to your spouse, always micromanaging and making sure they do what they promised. It is possible that your spouse has ADHD. Perhaps, on the flip side, you feel as though your partner is always nagging you and constantly repeating themselves. It is possible that you have an undiagnosed case of ADHD. In this two-part series of Stay Happily Married, we’ll uncover how to spot the signs of ADHD in your spouse, as well as how an undiagnosed and untreated case of ADHD can eat away and destroy a marriage.
Dr. Susan Orenstein received her Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology from Temple University. She is a licensed psychologist and Director of the group private practice, Orenstein Solutions, in Cary, NC. Susan specializes in adult relationship issues and has worked extensively in treating couples in situations where ADD and ADHD effect one partner. Susan has been happily married for 23 years and her husband and she co-facilitate the PAIRS couples workshop, where they continue to refresh their own communication skills in front of workshop participants. To find out more about Susan Orenstein and her practice, Orenstein Solutions, you can call 919-428-2766 for an appointment.
Click here to listen to part 2 of this special.
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