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What’s the real story behind infidelity and affair proofing your marriage?

Though data varies, many researchers and clinicians would say that about 25 percent of men and 15 percent of women engage in an affair during the course of their marriage. Extramarital affairs cross all boundaries. While the news media chronicle the affairs of our leaders and the rich and famous, chances are we likely know couples in our own circles who have experienced infidelity. When it comes to affair proofing your marriage, there are some obvious steps, but also some not-so-obvious ones.

The research that is available suggests that affairs happen across ethnic and racial lines, in red states and blue ones, in the homes of the rich and in the homes of the poor, regardless of educational level and by both men and women. Unfortunately, the statistics show that affairs and infidelity issues can happen across the board. Armed with that knowledge, it’s important to also know the steps to take to ensure your marriage is protected from infidelity.

Today’s guest is one of our regulars, Dr. Kristen Wynns of Wynns Family Psychology in Cary, NC. Though you and your spouse ultimately have control over the boundaries in your relationship, Kristen is here to discuss some of the important tips you both can stick with for affair proofing your marriage.

To find out more about Kristen and her practice, visit her website, or call (919) 467-7777 to make an appointment.

Is keeping secrets from your partner just as bad as lying?

We’re talking about lying by omission. It may not seem like selective honesty would create problems within a marriage, but keeping secrets from your partner is a form of lying. Doing this can create cracks in the foundation of a relationship and lead to the destruction of a marriage.

Many couples are unaware of the powerful message they are sending by intentionally withholding information. Sometimes couples think that keeping secrets from one another is being “helpful,” or that they are “sparing the other,” but that isn’t the case. When one or both partners in the relationship have secrets that the other don’t know about, trust and communication are compromised. After a marriage has been hit by secrets and lies, the dynamic has been changed for the worst.

Our guest today is Dr. Janet Savia, a clinical psychologist with Lepage Associates. According to Janet, secrets and lies create deep wounds, but can be healed with honesty and guidance. Though it may seem impossible to regain trust within a marriage that is plagued with secrets and lies, it’s not. Change can be real.

To find out more about Janet and the practice, Lepage Associates, visit their website, or call (919) 572-0000 to make an appointment.

What is the secret to making your marriage special while also parenting a child with special needs?

Approximately 10 percent of individuals within the general population have a disability. Now, with the rise of certain disabilities like autism disorders, many couples are parenting special needs children. In those instances, making your marriage special can be more like a chore. When so much extra time and energy is put into taking care of a child with special needs, what ends up happening to the marriage?

Becoming a parent for the first time is a challenge and usually involves a degree of adaptation. For parents with a special needs child, however, adaptation can be much more difficult. These parents must learn to adjust to the unique and sometimes scary path of raising a child with a disability. And with the many extra demands that it places upon parents as individuals, having any time to work on the marriage might seem impossible.

Our guest today is Dr. Barbara Lowe-Greenlee, a licensed psychologist with Greenlee Psychological & Support Services in Chapel Hill, NC. She works to help families with special needs children succeed and thrive despite the tough challenges they face. To find out more about Barbara and her practice, visit her website or call (919) 824-5743 to make an appointment.