By Charlotte A. Michie, MS, MSW, LCSW
Relationships are like gardens; they can be thriving with lots of flowers, or overrun with weeds. Marriages, like gardens, need tending for them to prosper.
Ten ways to cultivate your intimate relationship are:
- Be open to change. Change is something that can not be avoided. Learn to embrace it by focusing on “what is” rather than on “what should be”.
- Learn to listen. Real listening is based on intention. If your intention is on getting your needs met, then you are not doing real listening but pseudo listening.
- Be open to new ways of being together. Consider doing different activities as a couple as a way to add zest to your relationship.
- Take care of yourself. The ability to love another person is based on how well you care for your self.
- Be grateful, each day, for one thing about your companion. Accent the positive rather than the negative. Your relationship will thrive.
- Be generous. Difficulties arise when the focus is exclusively on what is wrong in the relationship. Remember your spouse, like you, is doing their best.
- Ask for support. Your spouse is not a mind reader. Let your spouse know how you want to be supported.
- Risk being vulnerable. Be willing to let your spouse know how you feel rather than pretend or avoid your feelings.
- Make time for each other. Scheduling time together, on a weekly basis, will alleviate stress in your marriage.
- Learn to respond to each other rather than react. Reacting is an impulsive act. While it may provide immediate relief, it will often have long-term negative consequences.
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Wow, these are great tips!
Short but just enough to inform couples that they or we should not act like a child.. an immature person. Listening and knowing how to respond is very important in a relationship.
If your marriage is at risk, then maybe now is the right time to change. You can save your marriage by starting to yourself. And I also agree that, if you have problem, or if you think there’s a problem in your relationship.. then speak out. Your problem will be solved when you talk about it, and if you will help each other.
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